Radio 4 finishes off the year in cracking avian style with a programme about erstwhile t.w.w. bird of the week THE OSPREY. He's iconic, dontcha know. Listen here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00lsyql

or on the radio itself if you happen to see this post before 11.30pm on 30th December 2009.

Bird Fact of the Day

At any one point in time, there are twice as many chickens alive as humans.

Unpunctual bird of 2nd week, MT09

T.W.W. is lucky enough to own the the mug pictured to the right, which it bought from Age Concern on St. Clements for 75p. ‘What a bargain!’ said the man working in the shop, and T.W.W. very much agrees, partly because the mug is:

1. of a birdy nature
2. quite aesthetically pleasing
3. an adequate drinking vessel (although curiously heavy)
4. decorated with a reasonably accurate picture of a CHAFFINCH, our belated bird of 2nd week

but ALSO because it is informative and educational, for on the back of the mug is a little paragraph about the aforementioned chaffinch, along with a picture of some chaffinch eggs. This is what it says:

CHAFFINCH (Fringilla Coalebs)

A small seed eating bird with a short cone shaped bill with cutting edges, sometimes toothed, to assist in crushing their food.
They build open nests in trees or bushes and lay four to six spotted eggs. The brightness of the plumage of most males is enhanced towards the breeding season by the wearing down of the soberly coloured tips and edges of the feathers.

When was the last time you met a mug this knowledgeable? Bargain indeed.

Bird of 1st Week, MT09

Always remembering to keep one eye on the grouse, let us swivel the other eye, owl-style, to focus on the chosen bird of 1st week. As promised in our recent email, we are continuing with the Kiwi theme (though not the kiwi theme. maybe another time) and celebrating THE LAUGHING OWL, who has been even less successful than the kakapo at weathering the storms of colonisation.

The fate of the laughing owl is, I am afraid, no laughing matter, for he is now almost certainly extinct. A small grain of hope remains as a result of reports by a group of American tourists who, while camping in the wilds of New Zealand, heard what they took to be 'the sound of a madman laughing' which is indeed the sort of sound that a laughing owl makes. However, this was in 1985 so whatever laughing owl was or was not heard back then, it's probably dead now.

Other descriptions of the laughing owl's call include 'a peculiar barking noise ... just like the barking of a young dog', 'precisely the same as two men "cooeying" to each other from a distance' and 'a melancholy hooting note'. A correspondent from 1905 suggested that laughing owls might be attracted by the music of an accordian, which bears some resemblance to the owl's call. Whether this actually worked during the days of live laughing owls is in doubt; we can only assume that now, even the most skilfully-played accordian will not be skilful enough to summon the laughing owl out of extinction. You are welcome to try though.

THE GROUSE IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE GROUSE

Things with Wings is currently running The Alternative Grouse Season, handily timed to coincide with the actual grouse season (12th August-10th December). This is because we prefer our grouse alive and well rather than dead and shot.

What The Alternative Grouse Season (A.G.S.) means is that all term the grouse will be King Bird. What 'King Bird' means is as yet unclear. If we find out, we will let you know. If you find out first, you let us know. It's a deal.

What we DO know is that T.W.W. will be making an extra special effort to champion the grouse in all his (living) forms. Soon we will have a grouse poster campaign and we might also do some grouse modelling, painting and drawing (details to follow - we hope you will join in). At least one T.W.W. member is very keen to knit a grouse - if anyone knows where a grouse knitting pattern can be obtained, please get in touch. All this will of course be accompanied by Famous Grouse whiskey, the official drink of the A.G.S.

If you are particularly keen on or knowledgeable about the grouse, you can apply to be our special T.W.W.A.G.S. representative/events co-ordinator, or "grouse-master". Otherwise, you can get involved with The Alternative Grouse Season by telling us all your grouse facts and news, looking out for grouse around the house (town), spreading the grouse word and, most importantly, offering sanctuary to any grouse who comes pecking at your door. In the meantime, let's all put our shotguns away and raise a glass of Famous Grouse to the famous grouse.

well hello there

WE ARE THINGS WITH WINGS

We like birds, we like people who like birds.

This might mean that we will like you. This might mean that you will like us.

Things with Wings is an Oxford-based society designed to celebrate all things winged. Primarily, this means birds, but we also include creatures such as bats (we like bats a lot), moths and ladybirds. We're not so keen on butterflies so if that's your thing, you might want to look elsewhere.

If you're not in Oxford you are still welcome to be a part of T.W.W., for we are very much an international society with wings all over the place.

In addition to this blog, which will keep you up to date on all things bird, we also send emails and organise bird-themed events and bird-themed mixtape swaps and so on and so forth. So get in touch.

You can do this by emailing madaboutthebird@gmail.com and then we will put you on our mailing list. You can also join our facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506948963&v=info&ref=profile#/group.php?gid=23805883585. We would love to hear from you in multiple media (multimedia?) so please do both and, if you like, you can request our postal address and then send us a letter by pigeon post or, if you are not in Oxford, by human post. Then we'll send you one back.

Bird of 0th, MT09

A whole new year, a whole new bird.

Actually not a new bird at all but a very old and very endangered bird, the kakapo of New Zealand. The kakapo became the kakapo 70 million years ago when there were no mammalian predators in New Zealand and so it soon forgot how to fly. This turned out to be a big mistake, as the colonisation of N.Z. resulted in the introduction of cats, rats and stoats, none of whom are averse to snacking on a kakapo. Now the kakapo is a critically endangered species and in April 2009, students of the kakapo could only count 125 living individuals. Happily, humans are doing a lot to save this fine bird and so we hope that things will improve.

The kakapo is round and kind of fat and has a distinctive smell that has been described as a 'pleasant musty odour'. He has an owlish face and so, with impeccable logic, early European settlers called him the 'owl parrot'. (Things with Wings likes this double-barrelled approach to naming birds.) If you click on the link below you will see Stephen Fry meeting the kakapo and reflecting that he looks like a Victorian gentleman (the kakapo, not Stephen Fry. although now we come to think of it...). If this is true - and we think that it is - perhaps we must come to the sad conclusion that, like all Victorian gentleman, it is simply that the kakapo's day is drawing to a close and his time is nearly up.

Another reason, and indeed a much better reason, to watch the clip posted below, is that you will get to see a kakapo attempting to mate with a human's head.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8281382.stm

Thank you, Laura Coleman, for alerting us to this noble bird and this curious spectacle.
On that note, we would like to remind all our readers that Things with Wings relies very much on its members' help in drawing our attention to matters bird. Of course we are always on the lookout but there is so much going on in the world of bird that we really cannot keep up to date without your help.

some birds and some words

Browsing in a bookshop today, Things with Wings just happened to stumble across a book called

THE POETRY OF BIRDS

edited by Simon Armitage (who loves birds, apparently) and Tim Dee (who probably likes birds too)

The title is a little bit misleading because one might think that this is a collection of poetry BY birds. Unfortunately, it is not. It is, however, the next best thing i.e. a whole lot of poems ABOUT birds.

The poems contained therein are arranged not by author or by title but alphabetically by bird, so that if you have a burning desire to read a poem about, say, a wagtail -and frankly, who doesn't? - you can just go to 'w' and there, right between 'wren' and some other alphabetically similar bird that T.W.W. can't quite remember, you will find 'Wagtail and Baby' by Thomas Hardy. Which is really great.

(When you consider 'The Poetry of Birds' and then think about how Simon Armitage recently made a documentary where he followed in the footsteps of Sir Gawain and generally spent an hour talking about how amazing 'Sir Gawain and the Green Knight' is, you will see it is as if S. Armitage is on a campaign to win T.W.W.'s heart. We will tell you now, Mr Armitage, that it is very much working.)

a wing and a song

or: why listen to The Beatles when you can listen to the beetles?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00n0wyw

(for that matter, why have Buddy Holly when you can have the crickets?)

WARNING: not all the insects featured have wings. only you know whether this is something you can handle.

WARNING 2: as always with the BBC, you have a limited time to listen. in this case, it is 8 days, so you had better hurry and catch it before it flies away.

Squirrel + bird = ?

A strange and unsettling thing happened yesterday. I was walking through a park listening to music when, in the very gap between one song and the next, I heard a curious sound along the lines of 'chook...weeeeeeeeee'. Looking around for an unfamiliar wing, I stepped off the path and into the surrounding woodland. Some bluetits were hanging out on a branch in their upside down bluetit way, but I know what bluetits sound like, and it sure isn't 'chook...weeeeeeeeeeeee'. The only other animate creature I could see was a squirrel. I glared at him in a friendly sort of way and he glared back... and then I noticed that every time I heard the 'chook...weeeeeeeee' sound, his mouth moved. In short, here was a squirrel singing like a bird.

In the thirty-six hours since this happened, I have come up with some possible explanations.

1. This was a Mowgli-squirrel, raised by birds and thinking that he himself is a bird.

2. Hidden in the tree's highest branches was a ventriloquist bird, and I had been fooled by his squirrel dummy.

3. The bird (singing) and the squirrel (miming) were in league together to trick naive passers-by.

4. This actually was some new hybrid squirrel-bird species. Given that we already have flying squirrels, the development of singing squirrels seems not improbable.

5. I saw a bird trapped in a squirrel's body. A bit like the frog prince.

It's hard to know which of the above possibilities is the most concerning. All of them leave T.W.W. in a very difficult position. If squirrels become birds or birds squirrels, how are we to know who is friend and who foe? If squirrels are wingless birds, do we shun them or do we welcome them with open, um, wings? And how widespread is this squirrel-bird chaos? Did I witness an isolated incident or are there squirrds all over the place? T.W.W. requests that all its members keep on the alert and report any suspicious sightings immediately. Over and out.

avian collective

One of the sorrows of being an adult is that life no longer affords the opportunities found in childhood for collecting small animal-shaped objects along the lines of Sylvanians, puppies in my pocket, beanie babies, my little ponies etc. etc. Etc. (Although NB, t.w.w. NEVER liked my little ponies. They are lame.)

The RSBP bird badge collection is therefore a cause for unrestrained joy and celebration. For the RSPB has made not one, not two, not three, not four but CIRCA SEVENTY* different bird badges for your wearing and collecting pleasure. (We will draw a swift veil over its non-bird range, which features butterflies and red squirrels.) Above you will see a selection comprising (clockwise from top right): brent goose, lapwing, chaffich, pied wagtail, bluetit.

As if any further incentive were needed, each badge costs only one pound and of course all profits go to an extremely worthy cause.

(RSPB, if you are reading this and would like to donate the entire collection of your badges as a thank you for all this free advertising, please contact t.w.w. headquarters.)

* This is a total guess.

Good question.

(Some) news is good news

You might think from our last two posts that all is bad in the world of bird. Not so, for here is a story to warm your hearts and lift your spirits. This time, the battle is between pigeon and broadband connection, with pigeon Winston racing broadband to deliver four gigabytes of data between two company offices 80km apart. Winston won wings down, arriving at office number two with memory stick in beak after 2 hours and 7 minutes, at which point the data download via broadband was only 4% complete.

Which just goes to show that technology may be fine but birds are definitely best.

civil war

Terrible news. The winged kingdom is riven, Roundheads and Cavaliers style, by warring factions. Namely, birds v. bats. It's not good to take sides, and Things with Wings would like to state that it likes birds and bats entirely equally, but if we are going to point the finger of blame, it must surely be at the great tits who, unprovoked, are biting the heads off pipistrelle bats.

Picture the scene. A dark cave, somewhere in the Bukk Mountains of Hungary. A colony of hibernating pipistrelle bats, each weighing no more than 5 grams. As spring draws closer, the first bat wakes from his long sleep. He is cold, weak and exhausted and quite unable to fight off the great tit who SWOOPS into the cave and rips off his head. Just like that.

Greater detail comes from bat ecologist Bjorn Siemers, who notes that "the birds don't kill the bats before they start eating them but the bats eventually die when the birds peck open their brain case."

I will not post a picture of a headless pipistrelle because I do not wish to upset you. Having seen it myself is quite enough.

In defence of the great tits (never let it be said that we are not fair and even-handed in every way) food can get pretty scarce in the Hungarian winters.

Thanks to newscientist.com for bringing this to our attention. We will of course report any further BATtles in full.

Oh no!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/may/25/birds-wildlife-conservation

Sobering stuff. Our British birds are going going about to be gone, and then no more will we hear the skylark's 'profuse strains of unpremeditated art', or see the yellowhammer perched in a hedge, brightening the countryside and probably your day with its attractive colour. 17 other avian species inhabiting the British countryside are also at risk, including the lapwing and the kestrel.

If you need cheering up after reading this, I bet there are some gawky goslings in a river near YOU that would be delighted to have you pay a visit. Especially if you came bearing bread.

Bird of Third, TT09

There is no doubting that the hoopoe is an exceptionally fine bird. In a way, he combines many creatures in a single form. To wit (to woo): he has zebra-like wings, a vaguely lion-like mane/crest and a beak sort of reminiscent of an anteater's snout, with which he does indeed extract ants from the ground. Like many a human, he likes to sunbathe, which he does by spreading out his wings on the ground and tilting his head back. However, this does not result in a tan.

The hoopoe's name derives from his 'oop-oop-oop' call. Humans have traditionally had mixed feelings about this particular bird. To much of Europe they were thieves and to Scandinavians they were harbingers of war, while it is very possible that King Tereus of Thrace, who raped his wife's sister Philomela, was turned into a hoopoe as a punishment (please see Ovid's Metamorphoses for further details). On a more positive note, a non-bird-loving close relation of TWW recently saw a hoopoe in Italy and was so taken with him that she rushed out to buy an ornithology book in order to learn more. Plus: in Ancient Egypt they were sacred, in Persia they were a symbol of virtue, and in Israel the hoopoe has recently been chosen as national bird.

Bird of 1st Week, Trinity Term 2009

Welcome, Trinity Term 2009. And welcome, long-tailed shrike, chosen bird of first week. Only once have you set claw in the British Isles, and that was in November 2000. We'd like it if you came back because you have a nice peachy coloured body and pearl grey head, not to mention a black mask extending from the forehead across the eyes and to the ear coverts.

Welcome also, followers of the TWW blog. If YOU would like to see the long-tailed shrike, you must follow the law of Mohammed and the mountain and go to South or South-East Asia, where it can be found perched on bushes from Kazakhstan to New Guinea. Perhaps you could woo it with a tasty lizard, insect, small bird or rodent. However, it needs no human help and is quite able to fend for itself: the shrike is skilled at impaling its prey on a thorn or some such sharp point, and then ripping it apart with its strong hooked bill. Yum.

The flight of the long-tailed shrike is undulating, but do not be deceived, for its dash is straight and determined. We do like a bird of resolve.

DID YOU KNOW...

... that an owl has his ears at different heights so that he can catch a whole range of sounds?

red letter day

i.e. once again, the BBC takes great interest in the kingdom of bird.

or rather

TWICE again, because:

1. this morning, Radio 4's frequently excellent and informative Woman's Hour ran a feature about female falconers, who have borrowed this sport from medieval princes and, along with Hawkforce UK, are dragging it into the modern age. Have a listen:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/04/2009_14_thu.shtml

2. this evening, BBC 1's The One Show - which I actually dislike extremely - discussed how the technology and structure of an owl's wings, which allow him to fly silently, can be used to make aeroplanes quieter. Planes can also learn a thing or two from the angle of an owl's landing (25 degrees). This means that the owl can catch eg a vole before the vole has noticed a thing. Not that an aeroplane would be catching a vole, of course, but this steep angle means that the owl stays far away from the vole for as long as possible, and in a similar manner, the plane could stay away from the houses below and therefore not disturb them so much.

They also had a real live barn owl on the show. Don't get too excited though because the owl was called Barney, which is crashingly unimaginative. Worse still, he was quite boring and refused to turn his head 360 degrees. (A finer show than The One Show would not have stood for it, that's for sure.)

An owly rump, a rumpy owl

Now you can add one more to your stock of bird phrases (birds of a feather flock together, don't count your chickens, a bird in the hand, the early bird catches the worm, one swallow does not a summer make, what's good for the goose etc. etc.)

'A NEVER DAY WHEN THE OWL BARES ITS RUMP'

which means that it (whatever it is) is absolutely never no way going to happen.

Thank you, distinguished Russian literary theorist Mr Roman Jakobson, for bringing this one to our attention.

You can breathe easily now

... because the results of the RSPB Garden Birdwatch Survey are finally in.

Here are Britain's ten most-seen birds:

1. House sparrow
2. Starling

3. Blackbird

4. Blue tit

5. Chaffinch

6. Woodpigeon

7. Collared Dove

8. Great tit

9. Robin

10. Long-tailed tit

Long-tailed tits are a shock entry, propelled for the first time into the Top Ten as a result of their sociable nature and diminutive stature. You see, they have only recently discovered the nutritional possibilities of garden feeders, and because they are very small and like to eat together, whole families can dine together at a single bird table. They also look quite lovely, as the picture above makes clear, and we warmly welcome their success.

For more news on the Birdwatch results, take a look at http://www.rspb.org.uk/birdwatch/results/

Look! Listen!

Birdwatching and good music: like peanut butter and jam, Poirot and his moustache, a window seat and a nice book or indeed any other happy and natural pairing. Find out more at:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/mar/13/elbow-doves-birdwatching-pop-music



You only have six days left to click on the link below and listen to a BIRD MYSTERY featuring nature detective Tom Heap investigating who or what is responsible for the suspicious disapperance of the cockney sparrow. Or 'sparrer', as Radio 4 would have it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00j4hk8

Bird of 6th Week, HT09

You may have noticed that Bird of the Week has been absent for a while. This is because when it grows cold, all sensible birds take a trip south to do the avian equivalent of sunning themselves on lilos whilst drinking fruity cocktails. But now, as the first rays of spring sunshine warm the earth and every day brings us closer to daffodil season, bird of the week is BACK. And he's bigger than ever. In fact, he's very big indeed, for our bird of 6th week is the OSPREY, and he has a wingspan of 4.5-6 feet (135-180cm, for those of you that prefer metric). Don't mess with him.


He can be found in all continents apart from Antarctica, but he needs to be near water so that he can eat fish. His black eye-patch gives him a piratical air, and sometimes he goes by the name of Sea Hawk. The female is somewhat larger than the male and has an attractive black necklace (figuratively speaking). Ospreys generally pair for life but if the union is unsuccessful, there will be what ornotholigists and anthropomorphosis-loving folk call "a divorce". It is uncertain whether divorced ospreys then "marry" again. But regardless of marital difficulties, osprey chicks have a very happy childhood, and their nests have been known to contain hula-hoops, ragdolls and toy boats.
N.B. This last bit is not even a lie.

well take a look at this

If you go down to the meadows today...

...you can't be sure of anything really, but if you are very lucky you might see what we have seen which is:

1. A HERON (pictured above)

stalking through the undergrowth, disregarding the excited gaze of those who look upon him.

2. a pair of swans (pictured further above)

for a melancholy view of the mating habits of swans, the transience of life and the loneliness of man, take a look at W.B. Yeats' 'Wild Swans at Coole'.

3. a kingfisher (again)

and WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE?

Christchurch Meadows: full of surprises. and birds.

FRUITS AND NUTS AND SEEDS

This term we are bringing the bird mixtape to the masses and offering you the chance to make or receive, or make AND receive, a mix cd filled with songs about birds.

If this is the first you have heard of the bird mix, you are not on our mailing list. This for a start is bad and wrong. Email us at madaboutthebird@gmail.com and we will put it right. Furthermore we will supply you with all the mix details so that you will not be left out in the cold.

But the deadline by which all mixes must be made is FRIDAY 2ND WEEK (30th January) so you must be quick. Hurry! Hurry!

LEADERS OF THE PACK

Are we ahead of the crowd or are we ahead of the crowd?
There is only one answer to that question and it is YES.

For on page 12 in yesterdy's G2 was an article entitled 'FEATHER YOUR NEST', announcing to the world that birds are the very last word in fashionable design, and showing a selection of cushions, candles, rugs, coat hangers, earrings etc. etc. that are all BIRD BIRD BIRD. Here is a shortened version of that article:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2009/jan/22/birds-interior-design-homes?picture=342130660

but the real one is much better.

Keep your beady eyes open also for the Observer this Sunday, which will feature a guide to the Top 50 British Birds.

Bird of 0th Week, HT09

THE WAGTAIL

In my official capacity as ambassador for the bird world, of course I like every bird absolutely equally. But when I am off-duty, and as a flawed and sadly partial human being, my warmest feelings are reserved for the wagtail.

The best thing about wagtails is the way that they run. This is hard to describe but if you have not seen it for yourself imagine a swift loping motion that manages to be graceful and comical at the same time. When they run their tails wag up and down and this too is funny to watch. Their tails wag pretty much all the time, actually. Perhaps this makes them the dog of the bird kingdom.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=l7u4nsUKppM

There are several sort of wagtails. The most common to Britain is the PIED WAGTAIL, and this is lucky for us because he is also the most handsome and lovable. Arguably. However, the yellow wagtail and the grey wagtail are nice too.

I am finding it quite difficult to gather ACTUAL, SCIENTIFIC information on the wagtail, for two main reasons.
1. The different species of wagtail provide a 'taxonomical nightmare' from which many an unhappy ornithologist has yet to awake.
2. The writers of wagtail information are so overcome by the wagging tail that they fail to mention anything else.

In Oxford, wagtails sometimes hang out in Radcliffe Square, on Holywell Street or in Exeter's quad.